Obsession is a dangerous thing

I can’t.

So, on Ace in the Hole, someone was back to spewing things that

make

no

sense

Sorry, I overreacted a bit. But like I said, when John says “homosexual” he is not thinking of sex. He’s talking about romantic/general attraction, with the suggestion that this refers to sexuality as well.
And I understand the whole thing about asexual but hetero/homo/bi-romantic. That’s more than okay with me. I would even support that. But the whole thing about John going, “i am not a homosexual” and Dave responding, “im not talking about sex” is what bugs me. John never had such intentions.
Also Cuddlepie is kind of OOC.
Also, I know that it’s not supposed to be canon. It’s just that the way that it sort of misinterprets canon messes with me a little.
If I wanted only canon then I really would not be looking at a Hammertime fic.

…………………

I’m aware that John is thinking about sex in the beginning of the fic, that’s what I’m referring too.
In canon, John isn’t referring to sexual needs when he says that he’s “not a homosexual.” He’s referring, generally, to what gender he prefers, which is either women or neither.
This is not “up to interpretation,” it’s really just a fact about canon. While some may argue that John is in the closet, claiming that he was only referring to SEXUAL preferences in contrast to romantic preferences is ignoring Hussie’s intentions.
Similarly, when John recently said that he’s not really wanting to be in a relationship at the moment, he’s not making the mistake that all relationships involve sex and therefore he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He obviously just doesn’t want to be in a relationship. This is evidenced by the fact that he asks Jade if she likes Davesprite, and he would never encourage his sister to engage in a sexual relationship.
Keep in mind that the kids never EVER think about sexuality, considering that they’re thirteen and fairly innocent thirteen-year-olds at that. Any canon attractions that they may have for each other are purely romantic.

Oh and by the way, I should have mentioned this earlier.
John says as an explanation to Karkat what homosexuality is as “when a boy likes another boy.” There you have it.
So while the asexual, homo-romantic Hammertime fic is a good idea in principle, I don’t really like the way that it tries to rationalize John’s claims to his sexual/romantic preferences despite the fact that the phrase in canon (“i am not a homosexual,”) that inspires the whole fic is given a contradictory explanation to this fic (“it is like, when a boy likes another boy,”) on the very same page. I have a feeling that Hussie put that there to emphasize that John was referring to ROMANTIC feelings.
And I found Madame Cuddlepie out of character for John, by the way. Not quite as much for Dave, but the fact that he went along with it is kinda strange because I imagine that his reaction to that would be, instead of stubborn, quite weirded out.

that was where I had to step in

Nowhere in Ace in the Hole did JOHN ever say the phrase “i am not a homosexual”

Dave did, and the only reason we did that was to deliberately poke fun at all the fics that overused John saying that line.

Also, these kids are far from innocent. John talks about wet tshirt contests with Rose, who not only HAS SEEN AND FOUND BRO’S PUPPET PORN TO HER LIKING, also writes geriatric gay wizard porn in her spare time!